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We all have that boss that we don’t want to be.
I was in my late 20’s and had finally gotten the life changing promotion that I had been working so hard for. I climbed my way up the corporate ladder and finally landed in the upper echelon. Finally, I thought I could make a difference, a real difference! I had the authority and expertise to make some big changes.
Fast forward 3 weeks into the new gig and I’m completely miserable and wondering how I got here and what I did to deserve such hell on earth.
My CEO was a jerk. He was disconnected personally from us, had no functional knowledge of our industry, and never communicated expectations upfront. You only knew if you didn’t meet his standards in a dramatic, awful way after the fact.
So, I’m sitting in his office talking about the results of one of my latest initiatives. I’m tense and on edge-- waiting for him to nitpick it apart.
I had been in his office many times, but this particular day something behind him caught my attention and I started to look at the items on his desk. There was a bookshelf filled with all of the “right” leadership books-- NYT bestsellers from the world’s leading experts.
And in that moment, I realized …
His whole purpose for existing wasn’t to make me miserable. In fact, judging by the books on his shelf, I think he was actually trying to do the work to become an inspiring leader. He just didn’t know how to integrate what he was reading with how he was showing up.
Most people have the best intentions and can be great leaders when things are going smoothly. However, when we’re under stress our people see a completely different side of us-- and that’s the one they fear.
I want you to close your eyes and think about the person who has been pivotal in your career success. That may have been a teacher, a spouse, a friend, or a mentor. What about them was so inspiring and motivating?
It all boils down to one thing: influence.
And how do you become influential? It’s a mixture of being genuine, self-aware, and compassionate. You see, leaders are humans and they get angry, sad, and disappointed too. The difference is that they know how to work with those emotions and use them to propel forward rather than get stuck throwing themselves a pity party. They apologize when they speak out of anger, they confess when they don’t know something or unsure of how to proceed, and they also know how to recognize and see those emotions in others and use it as a way to form a true connection.
And from working with freshmen in college to coaching senior executives to mentoring young professionals to find their next career, helping people become self-aware and realize their current and potential impact on those around them has always been my work.
I’m a leadership and executive coach for leaders with big hearts who want to make a real impact on the world but find themselves getting stuck in the everyday tasks and can’t seem to find the time to work on their big, bold ideas!
Can I make a confession? I think that the term “executive coach” is kind of a dirty word. Most people’s impression is some retired HR exec will come in and give you a step by step plan to become an amazing leader that everyone loves and your team will live in harmony forever. That’s just crazy talk. If a cookie cutter plan to leadership success existed then none of us would have ever felt like we worked in a toxic environment, or fantasized about how our boss was going to get fired. Second, coaching isn’t about someone telling you what to do.
I’m not a typical leadership coach.
We won’t start the conversation by talking about ROI’s, KPI’s and other metrics. I want to get to know you first, before I find out who you think you’re supposed to be. If you’re looking to increase your leadership capabilities the question you should be asking yourself is “who do I want to be as a leader” rather than “what do I do?”
I believe that we get the development formula all wrong. We believe that if we just do something different, we’ll get different results. As a society we’re obsessed with “doing” and so the first question people tend to ask themselves when they want to increase their personal performance is “what is it that I want to do?” These efforts might bring us success for a short period of time but eventually we end up feeling the same way we did when we started.
Who do you want to become?
The question we should really be asking ourselves is “who do you want to become?” because when you are crystal clear on not only who you are, but who you are becoming the “what” or action comes effortlessly! I use a unique coaching process called Energy Leadership™ to help you get crystal clear on not only who you are as a leader now, but who you are becoming. As a result, the “what” or action comes effortlessly!
Together, I’ll help you:
#leadershipgeek
I am a self proclaimed coaching geek and lover of all things leadership. The greatest gift I’ve ever received was a signed copy of a John Maxwell book. You can’t work in the field of professional and personal development and not walk your talk (or at least…..I can’t). In addition to having my master’s degree in Leadership and Public Administration, I have over 600+ hours of coach training and counting. I am certified in some fantastic tools to compliment my client’s work like Energy Leadership and Emotional Intelligence (EQ 2.0).
Want to chat? Email me at stacy@slccoaching.net
Stacy Campesi is a certified professional coach with over 15 years of experience in leadership development, coaching, and training.
Stacy believes that the term “leadership coach” is a dirty word. Most people’s impression is that a former HR exec will give you a step by step plan to become an amazing leader that everyone loves. The truth is that there is no one size fits all formula. Instead, Stacy helps her clients identify their own formula for success by uncovering their blinds spots, embracing their hidden strengths, and becoming the kind of leader that they'd want to follow. Some of Stacy’s favorite topics to coach clients on are overcoming people pleasing and setting boundaries, work/life balance and building confidence/assertiveness. Stacy’s clients are at all leadership levels including executive, mid-level management, and emerging leaders and come from a variety of industries including higher education, non-profit, corporate, local and federal government.
Stacy has extensive experience designing, implementing, facilitating, and evaluating leadership development programs across a variety of industries including higher education, finance, and non-profits. These programs have included a mentorship program for front line supervisors, an emerging leader institute for over 75 high performers, an executive development program, and an ICF accredited coaching certification program, and a non-profit leadership forum for executive directors from all over the country.
Stacy is a highly skilled and experienced facilitator and trainer. She has trained hundreds of participants on popular leadership topics such as emotional intelligence and resilience, giving and receiving feedback, creating a culture of accountability, coaching skills for leaders, and influencing without authority.
Stacy’s facilitation style is such that each workshop is extremely interactive and require participants to roll up their sleeves, engage with the topic in a hands-on way, and always conclude with a plan of action.
Stacy is a graduate of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) Certification Program, a member of the International Coach Federation, and a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Stacy received an undergraduate degree in Sociology and a master’s degree in Leadership and Public Administration from Centenary University. A teacher at heart, Stacy has taught classes at the George Washington University and Centenary University.
Other certifications and memberships include:
• Korn Ferry: Leadership Architect, Team Architect, and 360 Assessment
• MBTI
• EQ-I 2.0 (Emotional Intelligence) Certified Practitioner
• Energy Leadership Master Practitioner
• COR.E Dynamics Leadership Specialist
• The Leadership Circle Profile
• Influencing Styles Indicator
• Change Styles Indicator
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